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Page name: You Might be a Redneck Jedi If [Logged in view] [RSS]
2011-05-20 09:08:59
Last author: Paul Doyle
Owner: Ravenclaw
# of watchers: 22
D20: 6
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You Might Be a Redneck Jedi If...


Feel free to add your own jokes, but do keep in mind that Elftowners can be as young as 13. Try to keep it PG.






You might be a Redneck Jedi if you mow your lawn and find a band of Tuscan Raiders.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your back is hairier than your Wookiee's.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your belt buckle reads, "You'll get my lightsaber when you pry it from my cold dead hand."

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your old speeder is on blocks in the front yard.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if the bumper sticker on your speeder reads, "My Padawan kicked your honor student's ass."

You might be a Redneck Jedi if, to piss off your boyfriend, you kiss your brother. (See Return of the Jedi for reference.)

You might be a Redneck Jedi if, when your R2 dome droid blows up, you just slap some Duct Tape on him.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you regularly open your beer with your lightsaber.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you go to a jungle planet on a diplomatic mission and come back with 63 pounds of fresh meat.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you can't describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word "Chicken".

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you call Yoda "my little, green buddy."

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you can't find any grammatical errors in Yoda's sayings.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you have a beer-can opener at the end of your lightsaber.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if Wookiees are offended by your B.O.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you used your best Force repulsion skills to fend off the tornado, but the tornado still laid waste to your trailer park, anyway.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you pass gas and think it was part of the Force.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you refer to the Jedi High Council as "all ya'll".

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you distill whiskey in the evaporators.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you Force Jump by using your own farts.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your lightsaber doubles as a bug zapper.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if the only galactic beast you haven't stayed on top of for eight seconds is a rancor.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you brew your own "That's No Moon"-shine.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if the man who's trying to kill you turns out to be your long-lost father.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you can converse with Jar-Jar Binks perfectly when you’re drunk, which is often.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your house has so many robot parts lying around it resembles a junkyard.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you bulls-eye wamprats in your T-16 for fun.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you were raised by your aunt and uncle and have no idea where your parents are.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if, instead of getting a job, you join the rebellion.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your hair is often worn buzzed in the front with a short pony tail in back.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you refer to general Palpatine as ‘Pappy’.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if, when someone you don’t understand yells at your companion, instead of asking questions, you cut off his hand.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you think Jedi is short for Jebediah.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you have fantasized about your sister...more than once.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you love pod racers because it's easy to follow when hammered. (Look, another left turn!)

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you have Ewok heads mounted on your walls.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you camouflaged your speeder.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your ceremonial robes aren't complete without a blaze orange hat covered in trophy pins.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your droid regularly downloads holograms of the Bass Pro Challenge.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you activate your lightsaber by holding it near your crotch while you say, "The South will rise again."

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your translator droid is fluent in Cajun just so it can translate for you.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you think the dark side is the back of the fridge.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you refer to your mother-in-law as Jabba's sister.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if, nine months after meeting the princess of Alderon, you and your best friend are dispatched to a paternity civil case on Tatooine.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you have to hold the hatches and airlocks of your rustbucket Millenium Ford-Falcon in place with catgut and duct tape (since dental floss is unheard of).

You might be a Redneck Jedi if all you know of the political landscape comes from Red Fox News.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you and your friends are forced to move to Hoth and you declare a "Snow Day"

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you have to build an extra room to showoff your rancor head trophy.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if you reunite with your missing human mama when your doting "Wookiee foster mom" shaves her body (it was human mom, all along!)

You might be a Redneck Jedi if your Gungan foster child is kept in line with a leash and a "Jar Jar Binky" pacifier, despite being near puberty.

You might be a Redneck Jedi if

You might be a Redneck Jedi if

You might be a Redneck Jedi if

You might be a Redneck Jedi if

You might be a Redneck Jedi if

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2005-11-18 [shadow of darkness]: lol how's mine?

2005-11-19 [Ravenclaw]: ehh . . .

2005-11-19 [shadow of darkness]: ehh? come on.

2005-12-07 [Ravenclaw]: lol

2005-12-07 [shadow of darkness]: come on it took me forever to come up with that one.....would help if i read some redneck jokes....

2005-12-07 [Ravenclaw]: lmao

2005-12-24 [kerry555]: jeff foxworthy's redneck jokes are cool - just use those and change em... I have that CD somewhere

2006-01-01 [zepher]: drive-by typo fixing!

2006-01-01 [shadow of darkness]: well you missed moe. lol

2006-01-01 [zepher]: and harrier

2006-02-03 [shadow of darkness]: LMFAO!

2006-12-06 [Ravenclaw]: leave my grammer alone, it's an effing edneck joke page. they fit. btw why did we ever let this die?

2006-12-06 [shadow of darkness]: i dunno

2006-12-06 [Ravenclaw]: I think the bumper sticker on your speeder reads: My Padawan kicked your honor student's ass.
is my favorite

2006-12-06 [shadow of darkness]: lol that is awesome

2006-12-06 [Ravenclaw]: It's mine and the one about kissing your brother

2006-12-06 [shadow of darkness]: that is funny

2006-12-06 [Ravenclaw]: I know it's the best one I think before the padowan bumpersticker. I do want a sticker for my car that says that but butt instead of ass cause my family dosen;t think I curse

2006-12-06 [shadow of darkness]: oh wow. how'd you get away with that one? lol

2006-12-07 [Ravenclaw]: what?

2006-12-07 [shadow of darkness]: them not knowing YOU curse?

2006-12-07 [Ravenclaw]: duno

2007-06-04 [Pnelma Tirian]: ....wow.

2009-07-22 [Ravenclaw]: I'm motherfuckin' awesome that way.

2009-07-22 [iippo]: This has win. Moar! :3

2009-07-22 [Ravenclaw]: Gracias, Gracias very much!

2009-07-22 [Paul Doyle]: You might be a redneck Jedi if . . . you used your best Force repulsion skills to fend off the tornado, but the tornado still laid waste to your trailer park, anyway.

2009-07-22 [Paul Doyle]: *watches page*

2009-07-22 [Ravenclaw]: I'm adding it!

2009-07-22 [shadow of darkness]: that one's great!

2009-07-23 [Elwyne]: LOL! I love them!

2009-07-23 [Ravenclaw]: Add some if you think of any!

2009-07-23 [Elwyne]: lol... if I do I will.

2009-08-04 [Daisy le Fleur]: "You Might be a Redneck Jedi If, you go to a jungle planet on a diplomatic mission and come back with 63 pounds of fresh meat." o.O  I wish that didn't remind me of some of my own relatives. Either way /cackles @ the hilarity of it!

2009-08-04 [Ravenclaw]: That one's mine. I especially like it because I deer hunt.

2009-08-05 [Elwyne]: maybe it was a jungle planet but wonder if the jedi redneck had any promlems with the "diplomatic mission"

2009-08-05 [Ravenclaw]: Not after demonstrating the many wonders of the hat keg.

2009-10-31 [Silver Moon]: funny

2009-11-14 [Evolution X]: You might be a Redneck Jedi if, you still wear your trucker hat beneath your ceremonial robes. ^_^

2010-02-26 [*Phoenix*]: So funny! Had to fan this page!!! ^.^

2010-11-07 [Nioniel]: Epic.

2010-11-07 [Silver Moon]: I wish they would add more...

2010-11-07 [Nioniel]: I think it's freely editable, you should add some! :D

2010-11-07 [Silver Moon]: I can't think of any at the moment V-V

2010-11-07 [Nioniel]: You might be a redneck Jedi if you refer to the Jedi High Council as "all ya'll."

2010-11-07 [Silver Moon]: lol

2010-11-07 [Ravenclaw]: nice

2010-12-16 [*Leric*]: LOL

2011-04-11 [Kyrinn]: Omg that second to last one conjured up all kinds of wrong imagery!

2011-05-12 [Rice]: Congrats on this becoming our current weeks feature.. :D
However in order for me to rate your wiki-page etc, you need to export it. Would you mind doing that. :)

2011-05-12 [Sideways]: Not to be rude, but I didn't think this was funny. And I'm a true blue Star Wars Geek. Not the kind that worships the franchise, but the kind who mourns its fall into sheer mediocrity. I can laugh at anything Star Wars, and this was just.....eh...

2011-05-12 [Sideways]: Well, rather than be a jerkoff and just criticisize, maybe I'll contribute! I bet I can think of something funny... Bam! there we go, top the Rancor Rodeo joke xP

2011-05-12 [Ravenclaw]: Nice.

I should have really put more thought into this. I never thought it would end up as a featured Wiki. Now I wish I'd spiffed it up a bit and found some better jokes.

2011-05-12 [Sideways]: Well, maybe I can help out with more jokes, but the quick ones can only take you so far. You gotta get into obscure star wars nonsense to really hit a funny bone

2011-05-12 [Rice]: Would you mind exporting the page though so I can edit your rating please. :)

2011-05-12 [Ravenclaw]: *looks for button* I spent so long ignoring the exporting button I have to look for it now lol.

Most of these jokes aren't even mine. I know some of them are less than funny. Being raised a redneck generally puts me off jokes about B.O. and back hair.

2011-05-12 [Rice]: *waits* :D

2011-05-12 [Ravenclaw]: Where the F is it?

2011-05-12 [Rice]: On the 'edit page' but you have to click 'everyone can view' not just 'site members', that exports it. :)

2011-05-12 [Sideways]: My favorite one is the one about Yoda being my "Little green buddy." Wonder if The Emperor is from the deep south... *flash back to episode three, with Palpatine smiling at yoda, drawing on his force lightning, and remarking on the arrival of his "Leetle Greeeen Freeend"*

2011-05-12 [Ravenclaw]: Got it Rice, thanks. I used to hit the export button by accident ALL the time and I guess I never noticed it when it changed.

My favorite is returning from a diplomatic mission with 63 pounds of fresh meat. That one is mine lol.

2011-05-12 [Alexi Ice]: Hilarious ! Congrats on the feature!

2011-05-12 [Alexi Ice]: I spit out my drink when I read this one;
You Might be a Redneck Jedi If, to piss off your boyfriend you kiss your brother. (See Return of the Jedi for reference.)

2011-05-12 [Ravenclaw]: Thanks. That one was mine too.

2011-05-12 [Alexi Ice]: 'you bulls-eye wamprats in your T-16 for fun.'

Can I add that...>> Because that's the first sign of a redneck jedi serial killer O.o

2011-05-12 [Ravenclaw]: You can add whatever you want. So long as it's a one liner and not tooo sexually explicit.

2011-05-12 [Alexi Ice]: Well I don;t have a good sense of humor so I don't know what would be funny or not LOL!

2011-05-12 [Ravenclaw]: it's ok. There are several on here that I don;t exactly chuckle at. But to each their own.

2011-05-12 [Alexi Ice]: Ah, ok good. I'll see what I can come up with

2011-05-12 [Alexi Ice]: Ok...so I think those are funny. lol. I wish we could put our names beside the ones we add

2011-05-12 [Ravenclaw]: indeed

2011-05-13 [Sideways]: Omg the ones that were added over the last couple hours are REALLY funny! Especially the mullet joke, the aunt and uncle, and the the no job one. Now those were clever

2011-05-13 [The Last Dragoon]: that last one was obviously a reference to Bubba J (one of Jeff Dunham's puppets) *bursts out laughing*

2011-05-13 [Ravenclaw]: I actually take offense at the pod races one... I love Nascar and it's more than just turning left. Name another sport where sunlight can kill you.

2011-05-13 [The Last Dragoon]: professional Vampirisim?

2011-05-13 [Sideways]: NASCAR is a highly respectable sport. It requires about 100,000 times more intelligence, experience, mathmatical prowess, money, sponsorship, physical skill and raw talent than any other sport. NASCAR isn't my favorite sport by a long shot, but I'm educated enough to know it for what it is, a supersport that doesn't deserve to be judged by it's core fanbase

2011-05-13 [The Last Dragoon]: O_O;

2011-05-13 [Ravenclaw]: Sadly it's become a staple of redneckdome and to say that people only watch it for the crashes is a small minded opinion. It's true that I've not really followed Nascar since Dale died, but I still greatly respect the sport.

2011-05-13 [The Last Dragoon]: I too possess a great deal of respect for the sport and those who commit their hearts to it, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying a small laugh at the rednecked view of it

2011-05-13 [Alexi Ice]: I got the reference too, Kia-Chan...>>

2011-05-13 [Sideways]: I never liked bubba J. Or sweet daddy Dee. Even though Jeff tries to keep it clean and does a good job of that. I find both those puppets offensive. Not because they're racist. And they still are, but because they are NOT funny. Which is unnerving considering how fucking gut bustingly hilarious Walter and Achmed are. Peanut too for the most part.

2011-05-13 [Alexi Ice]: I think it's funny because I've actually MET people that talk like that...

2011-05-13 [Ravenclaw]: "Your arguing with YOURSELF!"

Jeff Dunham is awesome. But yes. Sweet Daddy D and Bubba J are annoying as hell.

2011-05-13 [Alexi Ice]: I love Peanut <3

2011-05-13 [The Last Dragoon]: Don't forget Jose Jalapeno (on a stick) ^>^

2011-05-14 [Araglas]: O.O I can't stop laughing...

2011-05-14 [Balthizar]: -Had to add to this. Funny stuff I'll tell you what. funny stuff.

2011-05-14 [Enchanted^]: ok.

2011-05-14 [Alexi Ice]: LOL! I love the back of the fridge one ~

2011-05-15 [Ravenclaw]: No offense PD, but we're looking for one liners and that one was a TAD bit explicit for the audience we're aiming for... Keeping in mind that Elftowners can be as young as 13. I don't like removing it because it doesn't seem fair considering there are really no rules, but had this not been a featured wiki (random people can now find it) I have to cull the herd a bit.

Please, feel free to rephrase and post it again.

Posted by PD

2011-05-15 [Paul Doyle]: I apologize . . . sorry.

2011-05-15 [Ravenclaw]: It's ok. It's my fault really for not posting any rules. Don't feel bad. I never knew this would end up as a featured wiki. Thus, tis my bad, not yours.

Perhaps I can rephrase it to better suit the audience? I shall try.

2011-05-15 [Paul Doyle]: No worries . . . it's totally spontaneous and throwaway. I'm just using that as a warmup to a short session of my Novel Two writing. :3

2011-05-15 [kians mummy]: You Might be a Redneck Jedi If, your back is harrier than your Wookie's.

spelling mistake, a harrier is a jump jet

2011-05-15 [Ravenclaw]: There, how's that?

Coincidences, I'm writing a equal to my first novel as well. I hope to post the series on Amazon.

2011-05-15 [kians mummy]: You Might be a Redneck Jedi If, your back is harrier than your Wookie life mate's.

You Might be a Redneck Jedi If, you can't describe the taste of an Ewok without using the work "Chicken".

2011-05-15 [Paul Doyle]: Flowers for Alderon? ;-)

2011-05-15 [Paul Doyle]: . . . and thank you for adding the age clarification. :)

2011-05-15 [Ravenclaw]: Np

2011-05-15 [Paul Doyle]: Rather than get put-off by the watered-down version of my last post, I added something new :3 "Flowers for Algernon" is an amazing read, by the way. Classic, timeless SF.

2011-05-15 [Alexi Ice]: PD - Ok, that might have been uncalled for a bit but it was HILARIOUS! LOL

2011-05-15 [Nioniel]: Great humour is uncensored humour. :)

2011-05-15 [Balthizar]: Sometimes censorship is required. And sometimes, censorship makes something even more funny. Mystery and imagination. It does wonders.

2011-05-15 [Ravenclaw]: I just like to keep in mind that we might not all be adults. I like a good dirty joke as much as the next person. Had this not been a featured wiki where everyone could find it, I would have left it the way it was.

2011-05-16 [Avaz]: This was definitely chuckleworthy, though the Grammar Nazi in me desperately wants to edit the whole thing and fix the typos and take the comma away from after the word "if".

2011-05-16 [Ravenclaw]: Go for it. Firefox is great for spelling, but terrible for grammar.

2011-05-16 [Avaz]: Done.

2011-05-16 [Ravenclaw]: gratzi

2011-05-16 [Avaz]: De nada. :)

2011-05-16 [Sideways]: Lol, please keep it pg! God I love futile hypocrisy. Our youth are far too busy knocking each other up, doing drugs, drinking and killing each other at pandemic rates to care if a cuss word appears on a featured wiki xP

2011-05-16 [Ravenclaw]: There wasn't a curse word in that post. I've dropped acid but you don't see me pushing it on the playground.

2011-05-16 [Sideways]: Heck I didn't see the post. It's just my opinion that censorship is asinine.

2011-05-17 [Balthizar]: Censorship has its places, and uses. Featured Wiki isnt a bad place to have one.

2011-05-17 [Ravenclaw]: Thank you Balthizar. Those were my thoughts exactly.

2011-05-17 [Balthizar]: -Yeti tips hat. Goes off to scare some random tourist-

2011-05-17 [Balthizar]: -Since Red Fox died in the movies, I thought he deserved a Meme like memorial in here.

2011-05-20 [shadow of darkness]: wookie foster mom - LMAO!

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